I met Ashley earlier this month. It turned out pretty good, not quite the dream meeting we imagined, but dreams usually stay in dreams. We had a lot of fun, I think both of us want a relationship at some point but she doesn't feel ready yet. I've known her mostly online for 6 years, it's funny to think that we just started doing stuff in person for real. I really hope we can make this work because I don't think I'll ever like anyone as much as her. We were friends for so long and during that time we've always respected each other and enjoyed talking to each other, and feel the same way about things. I don't think there can be anyone else.
To be honest, I didn't know if my feelings were real. When you're online, it's very easy to start pretending to be someone you wish you were. Then again, maybe it's really the manifestation of your real self, and the way you behave in person is not really as close to your heart as the way you behave online. I guess if you really think you are being sincere, you probably are. All this time there was a lingering suspicion that maybe I was just pretending, but when I left her at the airport I cried and couldn't stop for a while. At that point I knew my feelings were very real; I haven't cried in forever.
I also need to get a better job. Probably going to see if I can get a promotion in the bank, but I'll want to go out and do something else eventually. So far real estate appraisals seem interesting; people tell me I'd be good at it with my attention to detail, and I won't be holed up in an office all day. Probably have to take some time off for school if I want to do that, though, but it'd be better than now since it's a professional job. I don't plan on going back to computers. Whatever it is I need to move on because that helps me build confidence. I need confidence if I want to make this relationship work and make my life my own.
I went to Taiwan for 10 days - it was really different and a nice experience. Maybe I'll write more about it when I'm not sleepy.
Any way now it's back to work. I love stupid people. Don't you love stupid people? They always screw themselves over and they blame everything on other factors so they can keep screwing up over and over again. I never try to argue with or correct them any more. I want them to walk off cliffs. It's great for the human gene pool and it's entertaining. Failure is beautiful. Stupid people deserve a lot of failure and all the stuff that comes with it. They never want to learn anything, and I never want them to learn anything either, so I can watch them fail over and over again. It's really the thing that's supposed to and should happen because even nature believes in this. It's nice to side with reality. It's almost like a religion except the stuff you believe in gets reinforced every day, all the time. Isn't it nice when you believe in stuff that's true? You never have to convince yourself and if anyone thinks otherwise they'll eventually get smacked in the face by reality.
Oh, and I'm going to bed because tomorrow is day 2...
Part 1 of a hilarious 6-part video. The game is ridiculous, but the guy's voice and commentary makes it even better. Too many parts to post the whole thing here but I think you should go check out the rest of it. >.>
I got a week off work due to vacation so I am going to bum around the house all day. So far it's only been a day but it's already been great.
A couple of days ago we were in a conference call at work with some person who was going fix up some problems with this internal site that our unit used. Person didn't know what Firefox was and thought it was a Mac issue. It was so ridiculously stupid that it completely did not surprise me.
Even when I am home I can't stop thinking about how stupid people are at work. I think most humans are pretty much just like robots and they value whatever society programmed them to value. When they think they pretty much just recite phrases that they're used to hearing and assume them to all be true. In fact everything they do seems so auto-pilot that I find it hard to respect anyone any more. People just react to the world in ways to avoid trouble that they can't even feel themselves any more.
Most people also don't respect or value ability. They only value it if they need it to obtain some other goals like money or fame, when they don't need it they toss the concept out the window. Ability is the only thing that really stays with you and it is the one thing you can feel when you close your eyes at night, regardless of where you are, who you are, and what situation you're in. It is the only thing that I can really respect myself for, and others as well. People who are always trying to improve themselves are the people I like to associate with. The rest I just disregard.
I haven't been able to beat my 3400-ish score on the Facebook brain game but I've hit some new highs in the individual categories. I didn't even think I could get this high when I first started, I'll probably surprise myself again after a couple hundred more games.
